Martin Luther insults you

Yes, he does. If you want him to, he'll keep insulting you the whole hour. Just go to the entertaining "Lutheran Insulter" site, and choose to be insulted as many times as you want. It's modeled on the popular "Shakespearean Insulter," also worth a visit.[caption id="attachment_18937" align="alignright" width="208" caption=""You are spiritual scarecrows.""]"You are spiritual scarecrows."[/caption]I have been impressed with Luther's deftness, not only with well-developed, sarcastic insults, such as

Behold, indeed, this little golden work of a golden teacher! It is a work most worthy of golden letters, and lest there be something about it which is not golden, it must be handed down by golden disciples, namely, by those about whom it is said, "The idols of the nations are silver and gold. They have eyes, but they see not."

but also with the short and smooth style, whose meaning takes a moment to settle, such as:

There you are, like butter in sunshine.

Some of his insults are timeless and apply well to diverse occasions:

Perhaps you want me to die of unrelieved boredom while you keep on talking.

My only complaint: I would love the site in German, so that we can feel the full effect of his repudiation with its original timbre.So go forth and relish your insults, lest Luther say to you:

My soul, like Ezekiel's, is nauseated at eating your bread covered with human dung. Do you know what this means?

No, Luther, we don't! But we like it! May we have another?

Michael Peppard is associate professor of theology at Fordham University and on the staff of its Curran Center for American Catholic Studies. He is the author of The World's Oldest Church and The Son of God in the Roman World, and on Twitter @MichaelPeppard. He is a contributing editor to Commonweal.

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