Looking at the contretemps between Commonweal and First Things, I found my legal instincts kicking in: I felt like I was missing some piece of the puzzle. So I began to ask myself: who benefits from this dustup?

1. January 2006: Commonweal starts a blog.

Perhaps not a bestseller as far as blogs go (it's not Defamer.com), but innovative for the Catholic blogosphere in that it both 1) contains a nicely mixed assortment of contributors; and 2) allows comments.

2. August 1, 2006: First Things revamps and expands its blog.

It too now features a nicely mixed assortment of contributors--but no comment boxes.

The stated purpose: increasing hits to the Web site. As FT edtor Jody Bottum tells us: "Fr. Neuhaus puts his most profound thoughts about Christianity and the American Experiment and the website records 15,000 to 20,000 sessions a day. I put my most trivial thoughts abut great ukulele playsrs, and we get the same 15,000 to 20,000. Good posts, bad posts, peace, war, Christmas, the Fourth of July, the sixth Tuesday in ordinary time: It doesn't seem to matter. Our regulars visit, and no one else does. So we thought we'd try something a little different for the month of August. This is the first summer we've had the capacity on the website to post regular blog items and, by the same token, the first summer that we've had to post regular blog items during the time when vacations loom for our overworked editorial staff."

3. August 1-10, 2006: The First Things bloggers blog.

Joseph Pearce writes about the Lord of the Rings. Everyone blogs on the Middle East. Robbie George issues a dire warning (or two) about the dangers of gay marriage. And Michael Novak blesses beer -- in Latin. Interesting, erudite, but alas, probably not the stuff of stratospheric hit counts (except for the beer blessing, of course).

4. August 10, 2006: Mild-mannered Latinist Charlotte Allen drops a bomb on Commonweal.

In the form of a condescending, at times contemptuous review of Commonweal and Commonweal Catholics. The main charge: Commonweal, and by strong implication, Commonweal's writers and target audience, aren't, well, Catholic enough. OUCH!!! 5. August 10-13, 2006: Hurt and Angry, Commonweal's contributors and readers respond.

Majority Responses:

1) We ARE SO Catholic enough;
2) Allen is mean and unfair; and
3) First Things is mean and unfair.

Minority Response: Well, maybe we might not be Catholic enough.

6. August 14, 2006: First Things editor refers to himself as a Nazi and blames Commonweal for it.

Finding a couple of intemperate remarks deep in the comment boxes (not by Commonweal bloggers ), Jody Bottum issues a call to arms to First Thingers to defend their honor: The call to arms embelishes the intemperate remarks (as I remember, the word "Nazi" was not used -- nor was the word "hate"). A couple of key quotes from Jody:

"But you need to remember that they [the Commonweal folk] hate you and me and everybody associated with First Things."

"I had always thought of Paul Baumann and Peter and Margaret Steinfels, and other associated with Commonweal, as friends and co-religionists with whom I have productive intellectual and political disagreements. And now I know that they think of me, and you, all of us as Nazis, and enemies and uneducated fools. It's a sadness."

7. August 14, 2006: Commonweal's editors clarify the obvious: The intemperate posts weren't from Commonweal's roster of blog contributors. They were way, way out of line. We really, really don't hate First Things. Or Jody, or even Charlotte, who started the whole thing. In fact, we especially don't hate Charlotte.

So at the end of the day, what do we have on our hands, in these dull, dog days of August: A FIGHT!!

1. A First Things blogger deliberately provoked Commonweal folk.

2. Predicatably, Commonweal readers responded indignantly, and alas, some responded intemperately.

3. First Things turns the response of a few intemperate comments into yet one more wholesale attack of the Liberal Establishment upon Catholics and Evangelicals Together.

Fights lead to bigger ratings, as those who organize professional wrestling events and roller derby tournaments well know. Jody, I hope your numbers go up. I read you. If not, maybe Commonweal and First Things could try a joint podcast of a roller derby tournament.