Jobs and Families
November 12, 2009, 8:00 am
Posted by Cathleen Kaveny
An interesting article in the New York Times on the effects of job loss on family life seems to confirm the tradition of Catholic social thought about the importance of work–a living wage–to family life.
Also interesting is the apparent thesis that a mother’s job loss isn’t as devastating as a father’s loss of a job of comparable income. It seems to be based on two things: 1) mothers spend more time with their kids –and they’re less harried; and 2) a father’s self-identity is more connected with being a provider.
It’s an interesting article. When a husband has worked outside the home for his career, life changes that keep him at home – including retirement – frequently cause tension and disruption around the house.
Articles like this are incredibly depressing, but I don’t think a few interviews or even surveys really show the whole picture.
It’s sorta scary to look out my window at my neighbors homes and contemplate the number of husbands out of work, including mine.
Most of them are doing occasional jobs as they can find them, most are declining part-time, low-paying jobs, ostensibly because they “don’t want to take on a part-time job and then have to quit immediately when something better opens up.”
Nothing “better” is going to open up for these guys who worked in auto plants or in construction or carpentry. But most of them haven’t wrapped their heads around that yet. So most of the women are taking on more jobs and keeping their traps shut for now.
Meantime, our kid is not tearing his hair out, his grades have not slipped (they’ve improved!), and none of us has been more unpleasant than usual. In fact, I think we’re making more of an effort to cut each other a break.
It may be that when unemployment is rampant, it’s easier to deal with; you know you’re in the same boat with most people in your community.
I hope our son’s income in adulthood will not be lower as a result of Raber’s having been laid off. But if it is, he’ll have the skills to make ends meet on a shoestring.
To drive home the economic situation here, I put $200 in his debit account this fall and gave him a list of school clothes and supplies to buy. I told him that he had to buy everything on the list, but he could keep whatever he saved. I was willing to take him to resale shops and he should think about going online to troll sales. He managed to buy everything on the list and have about $30 left over, which I told him to save in case he wanted to go to a school dance, a game or on a field trip.
We both praised him a lot for living within our means. Lesson learned is that when you level with kids about your economic situation and ask them to be part of the solution, they may come through for you with flying colors. We are truly blessed with this kid.