And a Little Child (or Teenager) Shall Lead Them
June 14, 2009, 8:26 am
Posted by Cathleen Kaveny
Interesting story of a boy leading his parents back to church. I think I’ve been inside that church, while on a trip to give a talk at a parish in Hastings-on-Hudson, New York. The windows are breathtaking.
It’s interesting that the father didn’t even try returning to a local Catholic church.
What does that say … about either?
This story appears to be an illustration of historian Marcus Hansen’s “law,” popularized by Will Herberg in Protestant, Catholic, Jew:
“What the son wishes to forget the grandson wishes to remember.”
That is a beautiful church, close to the Rockefeller family estate. I suspect that it was the Rockefellers’ patronage that explains the art work.
I had one question, which the article does not answer. Has Ryan been baptized? Or perhaps they will combine baptism and confirmation in one initiatory rite.
What a weird and extraordinarily thin story to appear in the Times.
Since it appears in the Style section, maybe not so unusal(lly thin.)
Seems to me there are two parts here:
1) the beauty of the Church and the area – I think from below the Tappna Ze up through Tarrytown/North Tarrytown, Pocantico Hills.
The old cemetery wiytth gravestones going way back; there used to be a county(?) park with Rockefeller land donated and a small working farm.The park got minimal use in our NY time due to deer tic/Lyme disease worry, Still it was gorgeous for hiking and birding.
2) The Church story.
Seems like dad reacted against the Church of his youth strongly(Church of the 50′s) but taught his son some values on community and relationships that made this church attract enough to draw back parents.
I think there’s a danger of being too smug in discussing Dad -like the we have the real deal Eucharist talk we got this Sunday, not like those other Churches.
That’s probably the kind of thing Dad reacted against in the past.
Bob
FYI North Tarrytown formally changed its name to Sleepy Hollow a few years ago.
From what we’re given in the story it seems that Dad became a brother because he was attracted to such a life. Dad seems a decent sort, but he seems to have missed the point or points of what a religious comuunity is about. Or maybe the reporter just didn’t know shat sort of questions to ask him to find out what his religious reasons for leaving the Church might have been..
I often wonder why religious instruction seems to “take” for some people but not for others. Is is just a lack of curiosity on some people’s part? Or do some peopl need some sort of existential questions and answers to take religion seriouS]sly? Do some people just not need a church or belief in a God to make sense of life/ Or what? Yes, lots of people are put off by the behavior of other church-goers, but it seems to me that admiring the people we pray with has never been the point..
Will Ryan revert to no religion if the world doesn’t end in 2013? Hopefully, the seed of faith in him will have matured by then, and the seed will also have been re-planted in the father. My son attended a Xavierian high school…I guess I can only hope that Sunday plans won’t be inconvenienced by church attendance when he turns 61. ;)
The story made me think of an old cartoon, probably from The New Yorker, in which two aging, disheveled hippie types are looking with chagrin at their extraordinarily clean-cut little boy and saying, “Where did we go wrong?”
What do you make of this comment about the church being authoritarian/out of step in the early 70s? I was not yet born, but from what I hear things were a lot less authoritarian after Vat II than they were before.
When Jean Raber announced she was returning to the Episopalians so many reached out as if she was in peril. Who knows in what church this young man will end up with. Yet he found a community and some peace. Certainly Jesus will come to him there if he observes the gospel. Yet we magically seem to conclude that Jean lost something when we may have lost something ourselves. The Church of Dogma and The Church of Dogma can be awfully cold when we are preoccupied with asserting how true and valid we are without remembering what Paul said: “Owe nothing to anyone but to love one another.” (Strange how many turn Paul’s great words in to a treatise on lending.)
I felt Jesus today in the Roman Catholic Church, thank you. The great Pange Lingua reminds of what the liturgy can be. The cantor was superb as always, bellowing sweetness from her gifted cords. The beauty of her voice and person are edifying to put it mildly.
When we get out of the militant relgious wars mentality we see that Jesus does not mind showing up wherever two or three are gathered in his name.
Obviously, we lost Jean. Had she stayed, we could have continued to converse. She lost us, we lost her: the loss is mutual.
JC,
I tried to reconstruct the timeline. It appears the vocation dates to about 1962, he signed up with the Xavierans in 68, and left shortly thereafter. Even if there had been a sudden shift from authoritarian to libertine (there was not), he would have gone from a probably sheltered authoritarian structure to a freer one during the development of his vocation.
As it was, pre-vatican2 authoritarianism persisted for many years, and complaints about it led many to leave religious communities. Karen Armstrong’s memoirs are a good portrait of this conflict, but there are many others. Ms Armstrong, despite leaving her religious community and the Church, has gone on to be an expert in religion. (A History of God, etc.) I suggest that the father in this story is similar, with an abiding interest in religion despite his absence from the pews. He has obviously influenced his son with a deep faith that is probably rarely expressed.
You may be right, Jim McK, about the father’s “abiding interest in religion despite his absence from the pews,” and that the father “obviously influenced his son with a deep faith that is probably rarely expressed.”
There’s another factor, however, that I admit is supposition on my part as to this particular story, and for which I have but anecdotal supporting evidence in general. The story relates that the mother had no religious upbringing and little interest in religion. In instances where one spouse is essentially areligious, it’s not unusual to find that the other spouse, in the interest of family harmony and/or respect for the other spouse, downplays or even avoids religious discussion, references, symbols, etc.
There are also people who believe that religiosity is akin to a genetic or psychological “gene/meme” which you cannot escape. This pre-conditioning towards religion, probably passed through the father in this case, merely manifested itself in the child in his early adolescence, when it was, perhaps, activated by hormonal changes, or something to that effect. He could no more not be religious than he could not be brown-haired.
Do I subscribe to that theory? Not in the least. But it’s interesting to see how some people require a framing device for religious impulse that enables them to put it into a “scientific” framework.
Couldn’t they at least have included Ms. Sweeney recipe for the carrot salad she signed up to bring to the church picnic?
I assume it is just Times style, and I never noticed it before, but it’s always Mr. Sweeney, Ms. Sweeney, and Ryan. At what age do you become a Mr?
Regarding the state of the Church at the time, I graduated from a Christian Brothers high school in 1965, and for the next few years, for those who kept in touch with the school, there was a steady stream of news about the departure, one by one, of almost all of our former teachers from the order. One of the brothers who had been a good friend of my family (and who also eventually left and got married) said that one of the causes for the exodus was that their lives had been entirely regimented and their time fully occupied, but a lot of obligatory activities (like communal prayer in the wee hours of the morning) were dropped or made optional. He said that for many people the newly available free time allowed them to realize they were lonely, and the loneliness became intolerable.
David N., I am with you on the carrot salad recipe! I will simply add that, if it doesn’t include raisins and Marzetti’s slaw dressing, it’s probably not worthy of a church social. I’m further wondering how many gelatin-based dishes a congregation of 30 families is able to muster. I’d think at least ten.
As for the NY Times stylebook, I would be in favor of the Wodehousian usage: “young Master Sweeney”.
It’s an interesting story. Naturally I really would like to know how the father feels about joining a non-Catholic congregation (if Union Church has a denominational affiliation, I haven’t been able to discern it?). I wish the reporter had drilled down on that.
Also interested in reading about Ryan’s reasons for going to church: an interest in fantasy, and a theory that the world will end in 2013. But once they started going, it seems the pastor hooked the fish and reeled them in – he seems to be a talented and pastoral minister.
Jim,
According to a history of Union Church I found on the web, it is nondenominational. Here is it’s own site, on which I can’t find the word “nondenominational,” but their mission is states as follows: ““To provide a home where all are welcome, to worship God, to learn and grow as Christians, and to share our love, friendship and support with all those whose lives we touch.”
I think he just passed the cutoff for “Master” Sweeney, and is now in no-title land
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_(form_of_address)
Yes, the Rockefellers were the patrons of the church. It is beautiful and very intimate. Some years back we hosted an international Bronte conference at Pace University’s Westchester campus, not far from Pocantico Hills, and Prof. Brian Wilks of The University of Leeds, a fine musician as well as a notable Bronte scholar, played the organ and led a choral program based on the music that would have been played at the church in Haworth in the nineteenth century. And there were readings to supplement the music. It was a touching and unforgettable occasion. Nobody there was from the precise religious/cultural background that was being celebrated, but that didn’t seem to matter a bit. It was lovely of the Church to let us hold the session. Maybe Ryan caught some of that open spirit.
from http://www.pocanticohills.org/history/unonchrh.htm :
“In 1900 the Pocantico Hills Society for Christian Work was organized. The Society was to include people of all denominations and creeds. In 1915 the Society was reorganized into the Union Church of Pocantico Hills, so that members could receive church standing. The Church Constitution called for it to be nondenominational, and to recognize a duty for Christian fellowship and cooperation with all Christian churches.”
I love the windows, images of which can be seen at:
http://www.hudsonvalley.org/content/view/80/145/
A footnote and new thread suggestion:
We mentioned Jean moving on.
I think we should consider how deep divisions are in our Church as evidenced in the new Commonweal Editorail, the new America Editorial and the NCR piece on line on Obama politics and the Church.
All clearly indicate the division.
What is germane is any hope for our Bishops doing anything to unite or wil they jusat continue the current path as more drift (to warmer climates of faith?)
“But once they started going, it seems the pastor hooked the fish and reeled them in – he seems to be a talented and pastoral minister.”
Years ago I was a member of a nondenominational church. The pastor was a former Mormon/former Episcopalian (don’t ask!), He was a bright man who was one of the best preachers (he talked for about 30-40 minutes each Sunday; none of these 7-10 cliff note homilies for us!) I have ever known.
He articulated this philosophy often: I don’t care what your reasons were for joining the church. I was up to him to provide the right reasons for you to stay.
He did and we did until he died.