Elixir of Life Revealed!!!
June 26, 2012, 11:36 am
Posted by Margaret O'Brien Steinfels
Always knew it!!! Our clinical study of two persons supports the findings reported by Jane Brody (aka Calamity Jane in our household) in the Times’s Science Section: “When smoking and many other factors known to influence health and longevity were taken into account, coffee drinkers in the study were found to be living somewhat longer than abstainers. Further, the more coffee consumed each day — up to a point, at least — the greater the benefit to longevity.”
What say you, tea drinkers?
I say, Japan. Highest longevity in the developed world and big tea drinkers.
My kids drink coffee and have since preschool. All the Yuppie Moms shoot us dirty looks, but now I feel validated.
Arguing about coffee v. tea is like arguing about dogs v. cats. Dogs are coffee, cats are tea.
I know that when I switched from coffee to tea in the morning, I promptly got kidney stones. Twice. I also know that coffee is some kind of drug because when I try to go a day without it, it reminds me of what I am doing with howling headaches. I would like to replace the coffee in my life with brandy (how about that, Jane Brody?). But my wife won’t let me have it for breakfast.
Irish coffee is your man. Increase the tincture and you will find yourself legging out of coffee and into whiskey in no time. If your wife accuses you of being a hardened morning whiskey drinker, you can always drink Bailey’s for the calcium.
I only drink water. I don’t know if it helps with longevity, but everyone I work with finds me preternaturally calm.
That’s because water alone petrifies the brain.
Who removed that comment?
It made me laugh and I thought to myself how funny its author always is.
I know it’s not classy, but I prefer funny to proper.
Not me! Must have been Grant.There was a reference to “the mens room.” Ad hominem?
But speaking of the m room and the l room–Jane Brody claims there is no cause and effect between coffee drinking (and those places).
I have heard that, in an emergency, coffee is a suitable substitute for enemas and embalming fluids.
But that may just be an old husband’s tale, y’ know?
I doubt, in my case, that coffee is adding years to my life. Doc told me to give up caffeine for high blood pressure a few years ago. I told her no dice: I already gave up booze, smoking, and runnin’ round 30 years ago, and I’m going to cling to my last vice until they pry my thermos cup out of my dead hands.
But I did cut back to half-caf, which, along with exercise, reduced the BP to acceptable levels.
In my experience, those who drink only tea (which they may call “chai,” may God forgive them) tend to be fussy, judgmental, fastidious in their dress, and prone to boring you to death with technicalities about brewing tea, what type of pot to use, etc. They often keep birds or yappy dogs or Persian cats as pets, but only one at a time. Tea drinkers do not multi-task. They are often on rigid schedules, and never say, “Hey, let’s go get us a cuppa tea!” on the spur of the moment and certainly not to whatever dive a coffee drinker might frequent. Many have china or bisque doll collections. If you look closely enough, there will be doilies somewhere.
If you put cream and/or sugar in coffee, you are not really a coffee drinker; you probably would rather drink hot cocoa, but they don’t have any where you are. You are prone to dunking donuts and cookies in your coffee to make it even sweeter.
“I have heard that, in an emergency, coffee is a suitable substitute for enemas and embalming fluids. ”
Very strong coffee can sometimes relieve a sudden asthma attack. This actually works in a pinch, and there is some medical evidence to support it. Dad started getting short of breath in a restaurant one time. He didn’t have his rescue breather, so he ordered an espresso, which relieved his symptoms, but it made him pretty jittery.
Embalming fluid? I guess it’d give you a nice tan. I’ve heard of coffee enemas, but didn’t want to know any more.
“In my experience, those who drink only tea (which they may call “chai,” may God forgive them) tend to be fussy, judgmental, fastidious in their dress, and prone to boring you to death with technicalities about brewing tea, what type of pot to use, etc.”
This is a pretty good description of everything I hate about Mac users, too (or, as I refer to them, the Mac Bores). Plus, you ask them what time it is, and they not only tell you how to build a clock, they explain why the clock function on the Mac is so superior to that on the Wintel platform.
I am an Irish- american coffee drinker but when in Ireland drink tea, as most of my relatives do. Besides ,you can’t drink their coffee, it is grossly foul. I don’t think as tea drinkers they are fond of birds and yappy dogs nor are they particularly fastidious. Chai must be some kind of English perversion.
“This is a pretty good description of everything I hate about Mac users.” (Mac Bores)
I used to fantasize about wasting money on luxury vacations, now I fantasize about buying a fully loaded MacBook Pro with Retina display; it costs like $4000 not counting external storage.
I thought chai was the amount of money to give out at bar mitzvahs
Mary, in England, someone was shoving tea and biscuits at us at all hours. It was tasty and all, but I got the jitters from that stuff so bad, it wasn’t funny. It’s a whole lot more potent than whatever we get in little bags Over Here. I enjoyed the coffee, but it was different from what I’m used to. Someone told me that’s b/c it was from Africa, not South America.
Jim, I don’t think Mac users would have any doilies lying around to prevent rings on the furniture. I’ve also never noticed that they had any particular sartorial fastidiousness, though back in the ’90s, they seemed to favor Dickies with Hawaiian shirts, pony tails a plus on the guys.
I just heard on our local newscast that Orbitz presents Mac users with more expensive travel and hotel options than users of other client platforms. I am not entirely certain what this is supposed to illustrate, but if it means Mac users are overpaying for travel, I’m pleased.
Mac users get a discount on their coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts.
Age will get you more of those deep coffee discounts than using a Mac.
I look MUCH older than 58 cuz I have white hair, don’t wear make-up, and sometimes have to use a cane. I never go into a coffee joint without asking, “Do you have a senior rate, hon?”
It’s sorta like trying to buy beer at the 7-11 when you’re underage, except this is more a win-win deal. If they card me to determine I meet their age criteria (which no one ever has), it means I don’t look as decrepit as I thought. If they don’t card me, I get to drink cheap!
Jean – I just joined AARP. I have yet to discover a tangible benefit, though. Are there any?
Btw, for some reason, my facial hair grows faster and thicker than your average sasquatch, so around the age of 17 or so, I stopped shaving. It was great for buying beer, not so much for getting dates (but I was disadvantaged in that category even when clean-shaven, so perhaps there is more to it than sporting the Grizzly Adams look).
Jim, flashing the AARP card around doesn’t get you much.
But AARP saved us a bundle when we switched Raber’s life insurance policy to one recommended by AARP (his premiums went up 300 percent when he turned 50), which had a top A.M. Best rating. We also periodically check to see if their sponsored auto insurance would save us money. AARP also had some info about dealing with your mortgage holder if you are having financial difficulties. Because we worked with our lender BEFORE the crisis arose, we were able to wangle a principle-one payment for a few months without penalty, which probably saved us from foreclosure.
It has also offered a lot of much smaller money-saving tips that have helped us learn to be more cheerful cheapskates.
Troll the bulletin for money saving tips (the glossy mag is useless unless you want to know when Patty Duke turns 70 or you want sex advice).
Go here: http://www.aarp.org/money/budgeting-saving/?intcmp=SKYBOX3EN
I think there’s a tip on how to get a freebie at Dunkin Donuts if you buy a medium or large coffee. Even if you’re not a Mac user and don’t wear Dickies work pants!
Sorry, “principle-ONLY” payment